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Pamela

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(no subject) [Dec. 25th, 2010|07:04 am]
[Current Mood |gloomygloomy]

 
Whenever i am upset, i wish you are here to cheer me up

Whenever i did a mistake, i wish you are here to tell me "everything will be alright"

Whenever i am angry, i wish you are here to be my punching bag

Whenever i cry, i wish you are here to wipe my tears

Whenever i sulk, i wish you are here to kiss my lips into a smile

Whenever i got moodswings, i wish you here to provoke me, and moodswing with me

Whenever i feel lousy, i wish you are here to make me feel all good again

Besides family, i can lose almost everyone, but not you....

but sadly, ive lost you



when i am happy, i miss you. missing the happy times with you
when i am sad, i miss you too. cause' its only you, who can make me happy again. 
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2010|06:03 pm]
[Current Mood |pessimisticpessimistic]

FML

fuck BIG TIME

the day is getting nearer and nearer. and i aint excited or happy about it. Ironically, it is making me stressed up, uptight, and vexed. I dread the thought of getting older by one year. I HATE IT! being 22, it makes me a full fledge adult. when i am younger, i wish i am older so i could do many things that an underage cant. When i am now a legal-aged human being, i wish, i hope, i want to be younger. I want this growing process to STOP. 

I used to love birthdays. Birthday celebrations, and whats not. However, i know this year is gonna be different. Big time different. Receiving the most glamorous gift is not enough to make me happier.

HE IS NOT CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME THIS YEAR!

Without him, celebrating my birthday is all pointless. What's there to celebrate about? What's so Happy about this birthday to be called "Happy birthday"? 

No mood, no feel, no point.

Its really round the corner, i have no plans at all. 8 days in singapore, but what can i do?
give away off days and do flight? maybe....
stay at home, and rot my time away? maybe...

friends yes. of course there are friends to celebrate with me. BUT, how to? when the birthday girl isnt in any mood to plan and organise. i just dont wan to think. the harder i think, the slower my heart beats. 

MAYBE I SHALL WISH FOR ALOT OF MONEY

give me money, and i shall leave the world on my own and have a good vacation alone. away from everyone, and everything. 

FUCK! I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. or rather what should i do...?

probably, i am over reliant on him. and thats why, he felt pressurised. 

maybe i wasnt a good girlfriend before thats why he doesnt me anymore. its really all my fault.

yes me. 

"he taught me how to love, but not how to stop....." 
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good morning world [Aug. 16th, 2010|08:13 am]
GOOD MORNING to morning birds, pam is awake!! 
FInally sleeping at a time I should be sleeping, waking up in a morning filled with sun and glory. Sleepy and wishing the alarm is not mine, but after dragging myself out of bed, i'm love'in it! It feels goooooood!! 

It's 16 Aug, HAPPY 22nd to my dearest Kyrene Thng Wan Er!! Many Many more friendship years to go! 
Poor Pei Jun is still sick and unwell, so two kind souls will heading down to her bed for visiting, and celebrating Wan'er birthday there. Her room; thats our usual hangout place since secondary one. 

15 Aug, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Albert! Looking forward to our meetup on 2nd with Linda darling :)

and not forgetting 12 Aug, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY! Oh my, i still feel horrible and disgusted with myself. Nevertheless, I bought a cheesecake and wrote a cutey card for dad! Steamboat and homecooked food over the weekend. Its more than love! 

Have not been working since...... yes i forgot. Time in singapore never seems enough!! 

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packed! [Aug. 11th, 2010|12:49 am]
[Current Mood |busybusy]

Human nature is as such, procrastinating is like a second nature. Actions should be louder than words, but my words are often screaming at the top of my lungs. Finally, i have decided to get things started.

(1) I'm gonna save up for studies. Preferably, by next year.

(2) I'm gonna start my theory for driving first, and hope the motivational drive continues. I should totally get it registered by tomorrow.

(3) Birthday is coming soon, i shouldn't be fatter each year. Running regime gonna take place from tomorrow onwards. Morning call requested, and they are suppose to keep me reminded. 

(4) My room is worse than my storeroom. Clothes over piling on my bed, causing the queen size into a single. Wardrobe impossible to close properly, due to excess clothing flowing outwards. Additional cabinet has the same problem. And i have not rest my case. There are still piles of clothes lying on the living room's sofa. Clothes spring cleaning needs to be done. An extreme makeover to the wardrobe mad required. 

(5) Complexion is getting from bad to worse. Really need to go facial one of these days. My face needs extreme soothing, hydration and extractions. Stop clogging my pores!!!

(6) My uniform is turning light blue very soon. Need to have my measurement done. Appointment booked! job well-done :)

(7) Requisition for shoes printed. Name tags are ready for collection one month ago. Seriously, i need to have them collected before they are forfeited. 

(8) I need to start saving. Not only for my studies, driving, and of course shopping, but for my teeth. I can really feel them moving and shifting. Metal retainers cannot be worn at work. And my retainers for lower teeth is chui-ed. Either I get a new pair of metal retainers, or i need to get those plastic retainers. at least i can wear them to work. FYI, it will cost me approximately at least $500 to get the pair of retainers, including the x-rays and my teeth mould. oh yes, i need my set of teeth to be cleaned as well. 

(9) Start clearing my meetup debts. They are really on my overdraft. The only good thing about being single is, I've got more time to meet up with all my girlfriends. Yes, i need more quality time for my family too. 

P.S. not complaining. but i really think all my girlfriends are super high maintenance. HAHAHA! and i've got plentiful of them to start off with. NOT complaining really. i feel proud actually :D:D love them much! 

I'm work-free till 14th!! superb shiokness! wanted to change for a jarkarta nightstop to meet sam, but he this busy man. NVM, i shall have another day to do my stuff. I am a busy girl too!

First day of my self declared leave in sg:
Met up with maomao this morning. Usual, 30 mins late. & lunch on me. zzzz!
Met up with twinny this evening. Usual, 30 mins late. & dinner on me. zzzz!
DAMN! i should really stop being late! my money gonna be gone just by treating meals leh. hahahah! but its worth it. FOR LOVE.
in short, i feel very much self fulfilled. I had the day well planned (sort of). and i took public transport! Besides cabbing to vivo to meet maomao, the rest is by train and bus :D be proud of me!

The small talks, the time spent, it adds up to the friendship. I might be busy flying around. Many times, too busy to meet up with girlfriends. But, I feel, i need to show and let them know i still value them, i still love them. i really do. 

on a second thought, i am very punctual few days ago for the KTV session. i am really punctual, which i'm very well impressed with myself. well, on a third thought, this happens once in a blue moon. Nevertheless, i'm going to turn the moon blue. 

OH, before my self declared break, i met up with ziting love too! It was a damn love night. Very late, but very love. She managed to get her dad's car. We went singing, and we started driving around. I was the navigator for the night. We proudly found our way to marina barrage. After, we head back to her house, to return the car keys. Not forgetting her scary cat at the void deck. It freaks the nerve out of me, left me shaking; literally. La-kopi at mac, breakfast at the hawker. Only cabbed home at ard 9+am?? Long day for her, awake for more than 24hours. But its worth it, i know!

pammy is going to wash up, and go to bed. morning call at 7am later! 

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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2010|04:10 pm]
[Current Mood |awakeawake]

It should be the best flight ever. i waited so long, and it happened. We made it happened. The excitement should have drown me, overwhelmed me, but surprisingly it didnt. Excited seems too overrated, and here is the irony. When it is over, i blame myself for spoiling everything; leaving myself feeling lousy. It could be a HAPPY one, really. 

Probably why, the heavy mind and the heavy heart kept me so awake. Sleeping at least 8 hours is the norm. 

i screwed up everything.... is there a way to unscrew all them?
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(no subject) [Jul. 7th, 2010|07:04 pm]
is not considerate. 


sorry- 
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i need sugar rush- [Jul. 1st, 2010|07:46 pm]
i cried, i am crying.

what's wrong???

i cant comprehend. 

no one can.

what's over me?

why am i so affected?

i dont seem to be living for myself, but others.

i am just very affected.

very.

when i am sad, i still go work.

now, i am sad and affected by others, i really dont feel like working,

i wanna be in singapore, for everyone.

i need my sugar, really.
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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2010|04:58 pm]
 Azhar, my dearest batchboy...

I really hope things are alright now... 
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aging. [Jul. 1st, 2010|04:50 pm]
 Things have been pretty complicated recently. Never did i expect, such things will happen to 4 of us. At age of 21 and 22? 

Seriously at times, 4 of us felt overgrown. why are we bothering ourselves with unnecessary issues? 

I hate feeling old. Though I'm still 21...

Many told me ive changed. No longer the xiao mei they used to know, no longer that bubbly....

i really blame our job for all these shit.

schooling days are definitely better.....
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RUSH [Jun. 27th, 2010|05:27 am]
[Current Mood |disappointeddisappointed]

 One word, rush.

Late night/early morning/sleeping when sun is up. Overslept. Rushed to airport, rushed to briefing, rushed to aircraft, rushed from ground to supper to breakfast. Rush! ; skipped meals. First meal, on the next day; after my rest. 

In paris, sleepless and out. Rush again. 

Rush and paranoid, exhausted. HAHAHA!

We're still up at this hour. Too many hours sleepless. Dark circles, eye bags, headache; body screaming. No time to buy our birdnest somemore. 

Shopping tote bag is out of stock the whole of paris. Stock only comes in on monday. And... we are leaving on monday morning. Good game! I thought i wanted balenciaga more, but when i know my chanel is totally sold out, i was a total depressed. Still depressing.

Feli is as depressed, her graphite duffle bag is sold out at printemps n lafayatte as well. 

SWAY yes. how sway really. 

At least, both of us not going back empty handed. Still, it will only be better if we can both bring that chanel and LV back to sg together.

i want that shopping tote like NOW! damn. 

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